Done with the bottles and graduated on to the sippy cups...yay!! As of last month, the kiddos have transitioned to sippy cups. Gone are the days of endless brushing and cleaning of bottles and nipples. Oh, yes, and the countless number of liners!
Sometimes I wish I was in the baby gadget business. Must be quite easy to make money by suckering n00b parents....
- Emotional Blackmailing - Do you really want to feed your first born child from that Made In China bottle?? Is your child not worth the extra $10,000 that you would spend on this Taj Mahal of feeding cups???
It has automatic backflow prevention and it automatically throttles the milk flow - just point the bottle towards your baby's mouth and it's robotic arm will automatically align it with her cheeks and lip. It even has a safety release valve that automatically burps the baby too!
Oh, did I mention, it automatically washes, rinses and dries itself too???
- 72 Million Star Safety Rating - What? You gotta be kidding when you say you have not heard about this ErgoCargo Car seat. It should not even be called a carseat but the federal safety regulations make us call it that.
It's in fact a Fully-automated Oscilloscopic Octahedrally-tethered Logic Enabled Device (FOOLED).
Just drop your baby in it while you are standing. No need to bend and strain your back - the triple gelled and pneumatic shock absorbers gently envelop the baby into the shell. The robotic arms (yes robotic arms again) align all the 8 belts (remember it is octahedrally tethered!) over the baby and lock into place by themselves.
And then the device legs protrude out and walk by itself and lock itself into the car....all at the touch of a button, of this 829 button full functional remote control!!
- Sleepless in Seattle - Disruptive sleeping pattern? We have the tool right for you. This Nano-Nanny activates itself as soon as you put your baby in the crib. It has a database of 30,000 lullabies to put the baby and her parents to sleep.
These velvet laced belts will keep the baby tied to the bed in case she tries to climb out. The dual robotic arms (don't ask) will gently pat the baby to sleep - it can be pre-programmed with these 58 patting motions.
Those earmuffs you ask? Well, those are for you - sometimes technology cannot do everything for you, can it?
(50mm, f/1.8, 1/40sec, iso1600)